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October 15, 2010

Down & Out Of Their Minds In Beverly Hills.

Last night, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiered on Bravo for another round of rich girls behaving bizarrely. This installment is of particular significance to me as I once was a resident of Beverly Hills. Yes, it’s true. For four months, I shared a zip code with these delusional divas. (Actually, my zip code was 90212 but lets not split hairs).

People’s negative perceptions of Beverly Hills are deserved. In fact, I’d venture to say that it’s more terrible than you imagine. The plastic surgery, the grandiose yet lazy California fashion, the groomed pets: it’s all on display here like rare artifacts in a museum. Its primary residents are mistakenly thought to be WASP’s but are in fact, Persians. They own the city with a bejeweled fist. One time, I was eating lunch on Beverly Drive and a gaggle of middle-schoolers were socializing next to me. At one point, a girl screamed, “Raise your hand if you’re Persian!” The pre-teens went into convulsions, jumping up and down, raising their fists. I bowed my head down, ashamed of my undesirable lineage, and returned to eating my Greek salad.

Watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was like running into an old train wreck of a friend: uncomfortable, surprising but ultimately intriguing. So far, my favorites of the season are Kim and Kyle Richards.

The city’s answer to Mary-Kate and Ashley! Kim and Kyle were like, may-hay-jor child actresses back in the 40s’. Er, I mean the 60s’ and 70s’. They were Disney girls, the original Lindsay Lohan, and they want you, dear viewers, to know that. Today, they are full-time moms but that’s their choice. They could work but they choose to be mothers. Did you hear that back there? CHOOSE TO, DAMMIT!

I’m obsessed with Kyle. The only person who’s more obsessed with Kyle Richards is Kyle Richards. As aunt to Paris Hilton, this woman would show up to every and any TV show about Paris. The Simple Life? There. She stopped by Paris’ house to say hi. She didn’t know the cameras would be there, okay?  Paris’ E! True Hollywood Story? Kyle was front row, giving expert testimony to the cameras about her delicate flower petal of a niece. But don’t think that she’s using Paris.  The only crime she’s guilty of is loving her niece too much.

Kim Richards is this season’s Girl, Interrupted. She’s fragile like imported china and has crazy eyes that look like they either know too much or too little. On last night’s premiere, she was totally needy to Kyle, all up in her business and Kyle’s just like “Can you not? I have to go get filmed for a making-of documentary for House of Wax.” And Kim was left there to just freak out about her freaky life and her sagging neck. If only she could get tapped for a lead role in the remake of Escape to Witch Mountain. No, wait. She’s a mother, dammit!

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Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 7:25 pm

February 19, 2010

Bravo, Bravo!

Reality shows generally operate under the same formula: take an uneducated blow-up doll and give them their own soapbox. On this soapbox, this uneducated person will undoubtedly say horribly stupid things and we, the viewers, can laugh at their ignorance and in turn feel better about ourselves. It’s not rocket science. It’s reality TV.
But in recent years, Bravo has given the reality television genre a much-needed makeover. For starters, they’ve veered away from the usual reality show target i.e. a twenty-something and have graciously given the spotlight to middle-aged men and women. Genius and largely unprecedented. Secondly, reality shows main focus is to propel relative unknowns into reality TV stardom. Their focus is to get people exposure based on a reality show, not any kind of legitimate career. This totally sucks because it gives unecessary fame to gross people like Paris Hilton, the girls of The Hills, Kim Kardashian and Tila Tequila.
Bravo flips that around and bases their shows around a professional whose career is already established (Millionaire Matchmaker, Kell On Earth, Flipping Out). These people are successful, rich, articulate and quirky. They’re doing their reality show not to gain infamy but as a way to boost business and feed their ego. This goes against what many people believe to be what reality TV is all about: making dumb people famous for nothing outside of doing their own reality show. Their “reality”, by the way, is largely indebted to their reality show. When Kim Kardashian is filmed doing a swimsuit shoot on Keeping Up With The Kardashian, it’s safe to assume that she landed said shoot based on the exposure and high ratings of her show. Without it, the only thing Kim Kardashian would be booking is starring roles in her own sex tape.
Obviously, Bravo isn’t perfect (Nor should they be.)  The Real Housewives franchise, for example,  is built around entitled narcissitic rich people of little redeemable intelligence. (Exception being the New York cast. Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel aren’t stupid.) Like Paris & Kim K., many of the Real Housewives have parlayed their reality show fame into record deals and clothing lines.
But Bravo shows are smart. They’re edited brilliantly.
The Real Housewives of Orange County could’ve been produced as simplisitic, light and frothy.  The message could’ve been just like the other reality shows that feature oppulent lifestyles: “Rich people are undeserving of their wealth and awful people.” And granted,  it is like that sometimes. But it’s mostly just really depressing brilliant social commentary. These women are fucked up and sad. Seriously, if I had their lives, I would keep a camera crew far away. They expose so much of themselves that it can be almost uncomfortable to watch. It’s compelling stuff. You almost empathize with them. And that’s what Bravo wants you to feel, that’s their point-of-view.
Kelly Cutrone is so brilliant, she gives me chills. Her perceptive behavior towards fashion culture is so spot-on and refreshing. It’s like she’s this outsider that was given a VIP pass to this insane other world. It’s the antidote to the equally-entertaining Rachel Zoe Project. Unlike Rachel Zoe, Kelly Cutrone acknowledges the ridiculousness of fashion designers and her job. Does that mean she’s not gonna flip her shit over something as silly as a misplaced guest list? No but at least she’ll have some perspective while doing it.

Reality shows generally operate under the same formula: take an All-American guy/gal and give them their own soapbox. On this soapbox, he/she will undoubtedly say horribly stupid things that will make we, the viewers, laugh at their ignorance and in turn feel better about ourselves. It’s not rocket science. It’s reality TV.

But in recent years, Bravo has given the reality television genre a much-needed makeover. For starters, they’ve veered away from the usual reality show target i.e. a twenty-something and have graciously given the spotlight to middle-aged men and women. Genius and largely unprecedented. Secondly, reality shows’ main focus is to propel relative unknowns into the kind of stardom that lands you on covers of Us Weekly talking about how you lost the baby weight.

Bravo flips that around and bases their shows around a professional whose career is already established (Millionaire Matchmaker, Kell On Earth, Flipping Out). These people are successful, rich, articulate and quirky. They’re doing their reality show not to gain infamy but as a way to boost business and feed their ego. This goes against what many people believe to be what reality TV is all about: making uneducated people famous for nothing outside of doing their own reality show, people whose “reality” is largely informed by the success of their show. When Kim Kardashian is filmed doing a swimsuit shoot on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, it’s safe to assume that she landed said shoot based on the exposure and high ratings of her show. Without it, the only thing Kim Kardashian would be booking is starring roles in her own sex tape.

Obviously, Bravo doesn’t subscribe to these rules exclusively.  The Real Housewives franchise, for example,  is built around entitled narcissitic rich people of little redeemable intelligence. (Exception being the New York cast. Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel aren’t stupid.) Like Paris & Kim K., many of the Real Housewives have parlayed their reality show fame into record deals and clothing lines.

But Bravo shows are smart. They’re edited with a knowing intelligent point-of-view.

real-housewives-of-orange-county-season-5-photos

The Real Housewives of Orange County could’ve been produced as simplisitic, light and frothy.  The message could’ve echoed the sentiments of other reality shows that feature oppulent lifestyles: “Rich people are undeserving of their wealth and are awful people.” And granted,  it is like that sometimes. But it’s mostly just really depressing brilliant social commentary. These women are fucked up and sad. Seriously, if I had their lives, I would keep a camera crew far away. They expose so much of themselves that it can be almost uncomfortable to watch. It’s compelling stuff and you almost empathize with them. That’s what Bravo wants you to feel, that’s their agenda.

kell-on-earth

Kell On Earth is heaven on earth. Kelly Cutrone is so whip-smart, she gives me chills. Her perceptive behavior towards fashion culture is spot-on and refreshing. It’s like she’s this outsider that was given a VIP pass to this insane other world. It’s the antidote to the equally-entertaining Rachel Zoe Project. Unlike Rachel Zoe, Kelly Cutrone has a level of self-awareness and acknowledges the ridiculousness of fashion designers and her job. Does that mean she’s not gonna flip her shit over something as silly as a misplaced guest list? No but at least she’ll have some perspective while doing it.

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Filed under: Uncategorized — @ 1:57 am

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