Yesterday, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan announced her latest role in the upcoming film,  Locked Up & Pissed About It. Produced by L.A. County Jail, the film also stars her friends: Denial, Addiction, and Self-Loathing. Lohan will stretch her acting chops by playing a washed-up starlet who’s sentenced to three months in jail and must come to terms with her new life behind bars. With no access to her Twitter or close friend Kim Kardashian, the actress is forced to look inward for happiness- a process that involves close readings of The Secret, musical collaborations with Matchbox Twenty’s Rob Thomas and the occasional love affair with an auto-mechanic/convicted felon named Mitsy. Sources say a sequel is already in the works. It will follow her life after jail, which includes a 60-day stint at Broken Promises, a rehab clinic that bases its practices on the fundamentals of reverse psychology. According to its website, an addict receives a 90-minute massage and a gold pony every time he or she relapses. Although such techniques boast a 0% recovery rate, the clinic has a four-star rating on Yelp because of the  ”killer sushi and hot therapists.” Looks to be a blockbuster. Good luck, Lindsay.